Saturday, October 01, 2011

whores` glory


I´ve been lately invited at the launch of this film in Germany,
on the guest list due to my work.

Michael Glawogger has taken 5 years ( filming was just 30 days, building trust to be allowed to film took several years) to film different prostitution milieus in 3 different countries and 3 different religious settings:
  • High-class prostitution in Bhuddist Thailand where prostitution due to the king is not existing
  • a brothel town in Bangladesh, which is muslim and where prostitution is legalised since 2000 (even earlier than in Germany)
  • the mix of prostitution, drugs and some kind of brute catholicism in the "zona" in Reynosa, Mexico
The movie is not showing a certain view or opinion on prostitution, but shows:
it is like this, and like this and like this and also sometimes like this.

He told that in this sometimes all cruel settings it is still fascinating for him to recognise (and to show in his movies) how people still keep being beautiful people.

The movie is also uncomfortable and if you can´t take naked bodies and "dirty talk" better don´t watch it. It´s certainly not "jugendfrei" (In mehrfacher Bedeutung des Wortes).
Otherwise I think I would recommend it, also because the music is for my taste very well chosen.


Monday, September 26, 2011

Monday, September 05, 2011

delight


this is the small piece of grass in front of the house where I´m living
-in the middle of the city-
yes!




recycle stitch

Lately I got inspired to start stitching paper
it´s quite a nice possibility to make cards and the like from
used envelopes, old magazines and collected buttons.






l

Saturday, September 03, 2011

Überbleibsel vom Juli- was man so macht

Den Mozzarella entlang seiner Linien reißen
Mit der Zunge am Gaumen zerdrücken
Die Tage mit Arbeit füllen
Die Tage ohne Dich füllen
Sich zusammenziehender Magen
und Angst.
Nicht mehr sprechen können.

In Bücher flüchten.
In Arbeit flüchten.
Nicht wissen, womit den Tag füllen, wenn die Arbeit nicht ist.
Manchmal mich zu Dir flüchten.

Zum 100. Mal die Schuhe kaputt laufen.
Nach Hause gehen.
Nicht frühstücken
Die Haare flechten
Laufen
Laufen

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

need for east 6

I was so desperately in need of some positive images.
Multumesc.





need for east 5





Maria Tanase

need for east 4






muntii carpati

need for east 3





transsilvania verde

need for east 2





Bukowina


need for east 1

Bratislava

Eger



Budapest- Sziget


Wednesday, July 13, 2011

carrots


I like my local vegetable supplier

Sunday, July 03, 2011

Täter-Kind

When I was a child I used to go the library very often and always take as many books I could carry home. My mom sometimes turned the enery off, to keep me from reading too long and not sleeping.

I started reading books again, a lot. For years I used to read mostly newspapers, books that had something to do with studying. Now I enjoy it again to just hang out in my room, just spending hours with reading. Also, reading roots.

My mom has compiled a book of the writings of my grandfather about his life and what my grandmother has told her about her life. They tell about their childhood, their youth, how they got married and life in the GDR. My grandfather as a soldier in Norway and a prisoner in France. They had to build up the bridges in French villages that the "Wehrmacht" has destroyed. Awesome pedagogics.

How my grandmother fled from the soviet army. Hiding in the hay at night so they won´t be found and raped.

Walking, walking and biking. (My friends complain about that I walk so fast. My grandmother, my mom and me have the same walking speed.)

They just tell chronologically, year by year, event by event. They have been so young during the 2nd world war and simple, God-trusting people during the socialist times.

What bothers me is what is not written. Simple surviving seemed to take up so much time and thoughts, that there was no space to actually comprehend what happend during these times (?)

No description of their personal thoughts and struggles, what they felt during these times. Apolitical. Just not following the system in daily life.

It is this silence that bothers me. We have heard, seen and read so much. Documentaries, the history lessons, exhibitions, old people telling us how life in Auschwitz has been.

And yet we don´t know where our grandparents have been at this times. What they thought. What their decisions have been based on. It is "us". (But also my Japanese friends tell me that there is an extreme silence about the 2nd world war between the generations. And some Spanish friends say the same about the Franco-times. )

I´m currently reading a book from Christa Wolf where she describes "a day in a year" in a range of years from 1960 to 2000. She is a writer in the GDR in a constant struggle. She describes what is going on inside of her, her fears, how her views changed over the years, the responsibility of a writer to express openly whats inside her. To name the things we don´t find words for.

Seemes, I learn more from this book about the state I was born in, than from many stories my family told me.

In (psychological) literature the topic of intergenerational transmission of repressed experiences and trauma of victims as well as offenders often appears. The spechlessness between the generations. The repression. And the repressed is repeating itself again and again.

„... in den Kindern wird die Wahrheit, die man nicht aussprechen mag, sichtbar." Bernhard Schlink

(The truth you don´t want to admit, becomes visible in the children.)

I love speaking with my mom. It´s often exhausting. The older we get we seem to find more and more words for what has happened. In our own histories. In the histories of the groups we somehow belong to. My mom is fighting speechlessness. Me hopefully more and more, too.


Alice Dellal
Photograph by Robert Maxwell

HAIR BY MIOK FOR CUTLER NYC AT JUDY CASEY INC. MAKEUP BY MELANIE INGLESSIS AT WWW.KATYBARKER.COM.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

m3

1
The performance "bodies in urban spaces" from cie.willi dorner took place in the city where I live. It´s also about how a city, its planning and its buildings are shaping our behaviour and movement in public space. How we experience the world around us
People can be so elastic!

The video is from a performance in Berlin two Years ago.



and a short movie from willi dorner


2.
half marathon again: they had wine on the way
2:03

3.
the very best mix of French and southern German cousine ever:
"Laugencroissants mit Kürbiskernen"
(Croissants prepared in "pretzel-brine"(?) with pumpkin seeds)
with brie its the perfect breakfast

Saturday, April 16, 2011

april-aktuell

1
we tried having a copenhagen-living-commune-get-together again
it failed a little as one of my former flatmates got stuck on the atlantic

anyway I was with my spanish dudes
it was very warm in madrid

there were demonstrations against the ETA and Zapatero because some think he´s not doing enough against the ETA. Old Spanish ladies all covered with Spanish flags. Scary.

!steroescope revolution (Jacques Henri Lartigue!
he makes this pictures where you can really see how much he loves and adores the person he portrayes... there have been this kind of pictures from quite a few women)

I ate unhealthy
it´s not to be recommended to come home from a short holiday
two hours before you ought to go to work

2
I figured that the half-marathon I wanted to run is already in may
and I haven´t really trained yet

3
fair trade sex
what would that be?

4
work:
I have a hard time listening to you because this is what I do so much over the day
I read a lot the news paper and don´t know half an hour later what I read
I was angry with adults when I was a teenager on how they can be so ignorant and numb towards whats happening in the (rest of the) world- now I feel I´ve become one of them

5
in a car with my german-persian flatmate, also there´s a guy from syria and and one from vietnam:
The week before the Syrian guy: well, not Syria, you know, our president will no go so easily.
The week after we: hey, what you say, that this week the government of Syria resigned?

My flatmate and the Syrian guys making fun of the vietnamese guy because of his accent. He is laughing with them.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

I feel old and numb
also because I write about food

I took part in a cheese course

now maybe I know how to make creamcheese and white cheese



















this is chunks of goodness

energybars of puffed amaranth, pistacios, peanuts, almonds, raisins, cranberries, pecan nuts, sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds
caramelised in cane sugar
topped with chocolate




mojo baby

Monday, February 28, 2011

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Musings on the concept of SAHMS

SAHMS (Stay at home mom)
I find it quite interesting to see some kind of blogging world develop, where, lets say, the young creative moms get more and more out into the blogosphere sharing their experiences on how to make nice stuff, how to live on little money, frugality, DIY and all these things.

While I really enjoy at lot of DIY stuff and am all up for living simple and frugal, some tendencies rather worry me: (besides: why does your DIY stuff for girls always has to be "cute" and in candy-colours?)

At some of the (christian) blogs I have noted the tendency to be so proud on being a so called SAHM, and on promoting the model of "my husband works 6 days a week, 10 hours a day so we can live on one income, because it´s my God given place and role to be a mother at home" and "if you work you show disrespect towards your husband cos it´s his role to provide for his family", if you are a working mother it is bad for your children und ungodly and so forth...

Besides the fact that I always wonder why some people seem to know so well what "all husbands" want and "all children" need , I recognise that this idea is culturally foreign to me.

1. Speaking with some of my male friends the idea was: "It´s pretty unfair to put all the income/working pressure on the male side of the family, especially in a time where the education level is not so much more connected to gender."

2. How do we get the idea that kids wouldn´t need their dad as much as their moms? Shared time with your kids seems much more fair to me.

3. Most of these kinds of blogs are written by western, protestant, white, middle class moms. That doesnt´t mean that people usually have more money but it seems like people somehow can arrange to live on one income while others simply have to go working to make a living. As far as I know in most countries of the world moms can´t afford to stay at home and not go working for a salary. So maybe it´s a pretty western idea?

4. What do you do all day long at home? I´m not speaking about the ones with little kids cos there it´s pretty obvious that they mostly keep you busy all day long. But "I want to stay at home until they all fly out?" In former times when people didn´t have washing machines and so on it was obvious that running a household, rasinig kids and maybe also running a garden and all this stuff would take up a lot of time. But nowadays? In Germany we now change more and more to the model of having your kids in all-day-schools. I don´t say that this is always good, but what do you do when your kids then are at school and come home late?

5. Who says that kids are always happy having their mom at home? Honestly, I imagine it sometimes quite annoying to always have a mom at home who wants to do something with you because this is what she´s determined to do. I remember I was pretty early happy to do my own stuff, meeting with friends, doing sports and whatever without my parents interfering into my life and always trying to "raise" me.

Maybe it´s just another way of "childhood in the year 2009 is live in a surveillance socity, in a dictatorship of the "good"?"
We can´t totaly manage and we can´t totally control and maybe that´s healthy?

this is zart core

this is a song I listened often to circa 5 years ago
a friend lend me a cd where it was on
now I remembered it
It still does something to me

Monday, February 07, 2011

sweet potatoe pie

this, in fact, functions for nearly every vegetable you can imagine

we usually keep all kinds of little glassdishes e.g. from bought deserts or the like
they are perfect for making small puff pastry dishes in them

just put puff pastry in it add some raw or slightly cooked vegetables
maybe put some cheese on, in the oven, ready

also for the eye

pin board

I lately tried to make a pin board
we needed one for our commune to pin all kinds of stuff on
cleaning plans and the like

When I was at this one flea market, a man just gave me these
two nice old frames for free
so I planned to make something with them
for the pinboard I needed some cork or similar stuff to have something to pin on
I was looking for ages in the stupid "Baumarkt" and finally chose this heating pipe insulation material, I couldn´t find cork and nothing else fitting
















So I just cut the material down and glued it to some cartboard which I glued to the frames
then I chose some pictures from an old noa noa catalogue and made them fit in.




















I believe you need some nice underground for nasty things like cleaning plans
in the physical as in the social;)

Monday, January 10, 2011

fin feline



the tendency of fashion labels to produce short clips for promoting their products really works with me

fascination doesn´t mean creating a need to own things and therefore buying things

Saturday, January 08, 2011

2010

learning stations/reflections of the year/no ranking/random

1 driving licence
2 again turkish language course, again forgetting everything
3 did not move flats
4 first year in "regular" job/first pair of serious business pants
5 the laptop and me/ read a lot nakedpastor, it gave me comfort
6 Ukraijna
7 became lutheran
8 spend never before so much time in brothels (only a little in 2009)
9 many short trips to old friends in new places
10 finally ordered an organic-regional-vegetable-box/preparing a lot of meals for the living commune
11 sewing something usable
12 became somehow "hard"/learned and read so much and so often still feeling helpless and unknowing/ not knowing is ok
13 tried rock-climbing and waterskiing
14 not sure if I found my "power house" in Pilates (Deine Gebärmudda, Alter!)
15 third unsucessful try to plant something on the balcony
16 favourite food of the year: Mango, pumpkin seeds and pomelo
17 being close to someone
18 feelings of loneliness and fear
19 one side short cut/going to the hairdresser anyway
20 I saw somebody being born

(got this idea from an online magazin, who asked people instead of making new years resolutions to think about 20 things goals/wishes they actually learned /accomplished during the last year)

starring

the region I´m coming from is very much focused on stars during christmas time
in Denmark christmas seems to be more about hearts...
Though I´m not a big christmas fan, the craftiness of making stars fascinates me, working around a center, lighting them.

a collection of the most important (hand made) star forms at my mom´s:

plauen lace star




















fröbel star (The smaller ones)




















bascutti star



















herrnhut star




















pagoda stars

Sunday, December 12, 2010

paper-ponpom-decoration

What to do with all this packaging paper?

Before




















After

Sunday, December 05, 2010

Getting domestic/winter weekends

Travelling a lot for work and also for friendships
I somehow have developed now a sense of just wanting to stay at home and calm down the weekends. Doing simple, maybe shallow things. Making my place comfortable. Looking for nice home-items.

Christmas is a hard time for me.
It´s just stressful, klimbim, I can´t have the glitter, green and red combinations, the too much...
my people are known for bad taste

But if you can´t beat them, join them?

I was out with a friend, collecting walnuts and left over apples
and climbing trees for mistletwigs.

My mom send me some advent candles. Someone gave me this left over frame on a fleemarket, I got some nordic inspiration on how one can also decorate more beautiful. This is my try. I have already eaten all the clementines.




















I tried to make some chocolate-butter-truffles. Some with sesame.














Found these perfect eggholders in Stockholm.

nord


















work has been extremely stressful
so I was glad to have holidays

visiting friends in cph and sthlm
thank you
























One thing i enjoy while travelling is to look for simple (domestic) beauty
which I found e.g. in Jess´house

























Wednesday, November 24, 2010

födseldag

In Copenhagen
A friend of mine made me aware of this video,
which is also wonderful to me as it is so against the present anti-immigrant discourse (not only) in DK, trying to select people according to their "usefulness" for society.


In the vid people are singing the Danish birthday song. I like that different countries have different birthday songs. The "Happy Birthday to you" has become all too common. In one of the traditional German Birthday songs there is is verse:

"...How nice that you were born,
otherwise we would have missed you very much..."

I want to keep that in mind.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

wise said

was lately on a conference on "migration and development"
Gibril Faal, Direktor von GK Partners und Chairman der
African Foundation for Development (AFFORD), London/UK
was saying
"there are 3 reasons for people to migrate:
  • learn,
  • earn or
  • yearn"
And "Europe would break down if all illegal immigrants would go on strike"

Sunday, September 26, 2010

grün muss es blühn

`happy about a few new (for me) greeneries:
  • A former flat mate made me aware of a few mates of him that started the avocado online store which sells all kids of stuff which is either organic, fair trade, produced with little energy or what ever else falls under the "sustainability" label

whats on a kitchen table





it´s harvest time
let´s have late roses
and pumkin pie

Monday, August 30, 2010

women without men



want to see this movie since so long

step on it

Germany has something in common with Afghanistan, Bhutan, Burundi, Haiti, Libanon, Mauretania, Myanmar, Nepal, Northkorea, and Somalia.
These countries don´t have general speed limits, as it is with a lot of parts of the German Autobahn.

Driving school goes like this (2nd time on the autobahn):
" Go left, step on it." My driving teacher puts some techno music on.
So loud I can hardly understand her, only: "I said, step on it!"
Me: "Ehm, i´m already at 160 km/h?" She: "So? Come on, step on it!"
I step on it. 170, 180, 185.
Finally she was satisfied. Yes, I had fun.
I had to switch to the left lane again. The BMW behind me was pushing.
It´s pure megalomania.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

August

heulen kannste, wenn du Urlaub hast

( u can cry when you´re on holidays)

Monday, July 12, 2010

Polska- Ukrajina

































































































had the pleasure of a small-roadtrip to the east
in the sprinter- bus of my cousin

i love to see the kilometres running by
morning swim in a lake of the karpaty
climbing mountains
flowers in krakow
we tried to find a man in the mountains where my cousin has promised to bring him some solarcollectors for his roof so he can live from solarenergy

We spend hours at EU-borders
I wake up as ukrainian borders guards enter the bus and start to check everything
borschtsch and huge markets
an blaubeeren satt essen
old ladies letting their cows eat from the roadside

visiting friends in the small towns and villages
watching german world-cup-games in the house of the local footballtrainer for the small boys
blümchentapete und limonade mit kaugummigeschmack
the wheatfields have the color of grapefruit
always, always black coffee

"I give you stronger wodka" for my swollen knee
Dill and sour cream
night train to kyiv
sleeping on the park bench with people looking strange at us
halwa for breakfast
your mother is somewhere else in Europe working in care and household

getting our backs set by an old lady in the tourquoise house
I could hear the sound of my bones